Random Video of the Day 12/11/10

Jesus titty-fucking Christ, what is going on here?

Random Video of the Day 12/10/10

Seriously, can anybody tell me what's going on in this video? I would probably jump out of my window right now if I was on shrooms.

WTF?

How does this creepy kid get so many fucking hits? As creepy as this kid looks, I do thoroughly enjoy this video feat 50.

Google Earth on 8 55-inch HDTVs

Google's Liquid Galaxy requires eight 55-inch HDTV's as well as a dedicated Linux server for each, but it will fulfill your dreams of being David from "Flight of the Navigator" (sans Pee-wee Herman of course).

Random Video of the Day 9/7/10

This dog video sure cleanses the palate after watching the video of a chick tossing puppies into a river. By the way, if this dog could speak, she'd be saying "Take this goofy fucking shit off me and this guy fucks me when no one is around." Just a wild guess.


(Puppy throwing video after the jump)

Brandon Jennings Likes Lady Gaga

Nice to see someone that can drop 55 points in your fuckin face in the NBA and also like Lady Gaga. I'm buying a Brandon Jennings jersey tomorrow.

I'm Back!

So life got a little busy, I got a little lazy, and fapping got a little (alot) out of hand. Its ok. I'm slowly coming back to the swing of things and lets hope I don't fall off the wagon again.


Miranda Kerr topless pics in 3-D
Britney Spears looks decently fappable in blue bikini
50 Cent pwn3d by grandma
Kelly Brook naked in Playboy makes life worth living (NSFW)
Don't know who Christina Hendricks is, but she's got great tittees
Amazing amateur POV vid gets the job done nicely


Douchebag tries to chug bottle of Patron and fails

JoBros Blows

Of course this shit stabber didn't enjoy his wife's bearded axe wound. While he's running around playing shitty-ass music and wearing his purity ring, she's probably out getting deeped dicked by real men. How can a man describe losing his virginity as he was quoted above? After I shot my first vagina-induced load, it was the most amazing thing that I had ever experienced and have experienced up until this point in my life. I fell in love with meat pockets instantly. It was like when the Wizard of Oz went from black and white to color. Kevin Jonas made it seem like someone made him try Thai food. I think the problem here was that his wife didn't have male genitalia and the hole he was sticking his wiener into didn't smell like old Italian subs and doo-doo butter.

Kanye West - Power

Love him or hate him, you can't discount his artistic vision and the ability to keep it fresh. Check out this uncensored version of his new 'moving portrait' for his single "Power".


PS. Aside from Kanye staring at you the whole time, the video is quite fappable.

Kenny Powers Gets Signed By K-Swiss

That Kenny Powers is one funny motherfucker. The premiere of Eastbound and Down season 2 on September 26 is going to be EPIC!!!!


Check out the best of Kenny Powers if you've been living under a fucking rock and have no idea what I'm talking about.



Be prepared to laugh your tits off at these Eastbound and Down outtakes



On a related note, has no one ever told K-Swiss that their sneakers suck a homeless man's nuts? I commend them for trying with this ad campaign, but all they did was take shit from other sneaker companies, threw it into a blender, and these K-Swiss tubes came out. They'll definitely sell at least 30-40 pairs because of Kenny Powers, but thats gonna be the extent of it. No self respecting sneaker-wearing motherfucker is gonna rock a sneaker that is a ripoff of other sneakers.


If you work for K-Swiss and want to send over a pair for me to test out and give a fair and unbiased review, I wear an 8.5 M US.


K-Swiss Tubes

Nike Air Max 95 - This pic doesn't show the color very well, but if you owned a pair of these, you know the color is neon green, which is pretty much the color of the Tubes.

Reebok ZigTech - The sole of the Tubes is just a slight variation of Reebok's ZigTech. Again, the neon green sole here is borrow from the Air Max 95.

Adidas Shell Toe - K-Swiss just took the three stripe logo and added on another 2 for good measure.

In the spirit of Kenny Powers, fuck you guys, I'm out!

Today's Random Shiz 7/30/10

Larissa Riquelme goes topless, I go blind 2 minutes later

Larisssa Riquelme topless pics here (NSFW & FAP alert!)

Tara Reid panty-less upskirt if you're still living in 1999 (NSFW)

70 billion pixel picture of Budapest is world's largest picture

HUGE gallery of the best turd cutters on the internet (LSFW)

Adriana Lima in a bikini is a good start to an evening of shameful fapping

Christina Milian shows us what The Dream is missing out on

Who is Katie Cleary? With a bikini body like that, who gives a fuck!

Snooki in a 1-piece bikini brings sex crime rate down to zero (only look if you no longer have the will to live)

Ridiculously hot amateur GF doing dirty things on video is good for prostate maintenance (NSFW & FAP alert!)

Dey Rapin' E'rybody Out Herre

Who died and made Antoine Dodson police commissioner? This dude comes in a close second to the Alabama leprechaun guy in terms of assclown-ness on a TV news report.

Here's the original news story:

Random Video of the Day 7/26/10

This is a little late for Father's Day, but worth a laugh or two before you realize that you're stuck with banging one woman for the rest of your life.

Basil Marceaux for Governor of Tennessee

Holy fuck, I think Mumbles Menino has finally found himself a suitable contender in a fight for the title of "Worst Public Speaker Ever!!!"


Seriously, how can a candidate to be a governor of a state get so nervous where he refers to himself as "Basil Marceaux.com"? I mean, in order to get to that stage in your political career, you would've had to have spoken to at least 3-4 people in a public setting before, right? Nope, not this guy. He just steamrolls over whatever the fuck he meant to get across to the general public and makes a complete asshole of himself on TV.

Today's Random Shiz 7/22/10

Kelly Brook in Maxim

The rest of that faptastic gallery here

Kelly Brook bikini pics to get the pre-game started

Jennifer Aniston's upskirt delays my thirsty Thursday celebration for about 90 seconds

Now that Selena Gomez is 18, you no longer have feel bad about fapping to the Disney channel (100 pics of sweetness)

The Situtation in a vintage family photo provides a quick laugh before it goes down and by 'it' I mean savagely beating your meat like it owes you money

20 Hilarious names prove that parents do have a sense of humor

Ever wondered what happened to that cute kid from Jerry Maguire?

Hot amateur BJ takes it straight to the bank, spank bank that is (NSFW & fap alert)

Random Video of the Day 7/22/10

Holy instant regret Batman!


Booker T knew instantly as the 'a' in nigga came out of his mouth that he was in some deep shit. Aside from the fact that Hulk Hogan is white, nobody calls the Hulk a nigga. Not Booker T, not no one!

Pregnant Chick Gets A Knuckle Sandwich

There's just too much going on in this video to try to put words to, but one thing's for sure, a pregnant chick gets served a knuckle sandwich courtesy of an angry pimp in a Burger King parking lot while a bunch of onlookers watch. I'm sure glad I don't live in the ghetto anymore.

Random Vid of the Day 7/21/10

The best 12 seconds of video since the last time I made a sex tape...

Bro-stitution, A Disturbing New Trend

This documentary takes a closer look at the seedy world of brostitution and brostitutes. This film digs deeper than any other film has when it comes to this secret world of bro-on-bro non-sexual love for profit.

I may or may not be guilty of soliciting a prostitute or 47, but I'm proud to say that Lord Fapenstein III has never solicited a bro to make fart jokes, share near-shit-my-pants stories, or talk about girls' bewbs with. That's right, I'm so not a bro that I refer to myself in the third person, blow me bro.

Larissa Riquelme May or May Not Be Nude

The World Cup may be over, but Larissa Riquelme's restraining order against me is still in full effect much like the sick rod I have from looking at these pictures.

Nudes after the jump (NSFW)

(Disclaimer: Have paper towel, tube sock, or baseball glove ready)

Bobby Brackins - 143

Am I really old where this shit has come full circle and we're using fucking pagers again? I'm aware of the LOL's, LMFAO's, and FML's, but haven't heard of anyone using fucking numbers to represent something that actual letters being texted from one cell phone to another can't do.


Unless there's a reverse hot tub time machine somewhere in that mansion someone should tell these cunts its not 1996 and no one uses "143" to tell someone you love them? Tupac's songs are more relevant these these 2 assholes.

Today's Random Shiz 7/19/10

Katy Perry in a bikini makes me type left handed

The rest of Katy Perry's delicious pics here - MAMA!

Paris Hilton's whore tits exposed while sunbathing (NSFW)

Remember Josh Hartnett? See his gf's peanut nipple in a bikini nip slip here (NSFW)

Two 18 year olds get fed the tube steak during a casting call gives me carpal tunnel syndrome (NSFW & FAP Alert!)

The non-bigfoot Kardashians in bikinis - let the pre-gaming begin! (Preview below)

Borat's Guide To Country Music

Forgot how funny Borat was on the Ali G Show. This is some classic shit!

Jewel Goes Undercover At Karaoke Bar

Cool video from the Funny or Die folks of Jewel going undercover as a regular shmuck and singing at a karaoke bar.

PS. I would've banged Karen even with that giant schnoz of hers.

What's Better Than A Rainbow?

Double rainbow motherfuckerz!!!



Seriously, what kind of drugs is this guy on cuz I want some and I want some now!

Ke$ha Has Been A Naughty Girl

Apparently, some dude named "DJ Stolen" raw dogged Ke$ha at some point in time and posted a vid cap of the belly pancakes that he made on her. Judging by the pic, it happened before she became famous because she looks nothing like she does in the pic above or in any music videos. In fact, she looks alot like the hooker that fucked Steve Buscemi in the movie "Fargo".


Uncensored money shot pic after the jump. (LSFW)


PS. In case you missed this, here are some up-short pics.

"The little guy, he was funny lookin'"

Country Hip Hop

Yeah, you read that right. This is an instructional video on how to incorporate hip hop moves with country dancing. I've done some embarrassing shit in my life, but this is on a whole new level. I would rather disseminate pictures of me blowing dudes than allow the general public to see me dancing in this fucking video.


On the subject of embarrassing dance moves, check out these bums in San Francisco taking part in some sort of weird bum street dancing party.

Today's Random Shiz 7/7/10

Larissa Racquelme makes me feel tight in the pants

Click here if you want to see Larissa Racquelme's nip slip (NSFW and awesome alert!)

Nicole Sherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls in a bikini gets the juices flowing

Anna Faris naked on the set of some movie (NSFW)

Early Lexi Belle makes for a tired wrist (NSFW & FAP alert!)

Huge gallery of drunk passed out chicks or as I call them, ready to fuck

Giant spider crab molting reminds me why I will never go into the ocean

UPDATE to the Smoking 2 Year Old

Watch CBS News Videos Online


So this 2 year old fat shit, Ardi Rizal, is back in the news again for having the worst fucking parents. I thought third world countries were poor and shit, where do they get the money to fatten this kid up on top on supporting his 2 pack a habit?


I can already see this kid's future...riding the Fung Wah bus to Foxwoods casino, chain smoking Winstons, sipping on complimentary orange juice, and sleeping on benches in between 24 hour gambling sessions. You've got a great life ahead of ya kid!

Self Lacing Sneakers--The Future is Finally Here!!!

Why wait until 2015?

Inspired by 'Back to The Future II', this project is less 'Practical' than 'Proof of Concept', but hopefully it'll tide you over until Nike comes out with something more polished.

This was also the first time I worked with an Arduino microcontroller, and I wanted to get some experience with the little guy.

Operation is quite simple- step into the shoe and a force sensor reads the pressure of your foot and activates two servo motors, which apply tension to the laces, tightening the shoe. A touch switch reverses the servos.

Due to budget constraints, I only modified one shoe. Where did I put that darn sports almanac?!

The future arrives early for us thanks to nerds who sacrifice their sex lives for those of us who enjoy having cool shit, including, but not limited to self-lacing Nikes. Michael J. Fox would really appreciate a pair of these right about now...




BTTF II

Today's Random Shiz 6/29/10

Taylor Momsen performing at Warped Tour

See the unedited pics after the jump!
Kelly Brook in a bikini makes pregaming a breeze
Only the internet knows why this exists
Cameron Diaz in a bikini shows us that she's still got it
24 Hilarious motivational posters to prove that the internet is a stomping ground for degenerates with too much time

Gooks of Hazzard

This is the funniest shit I've seen in a long time. Pretty much every single Asian stereotype is accounted for in this video and if you're Asian, you can't even be mad because this shit is hilarious! Definitely well worth investing the full 7:41.




PS. This video reminds me alot of Kentucky Fried Movie.

Yikes...

I've got something for everyone...
I'm fairly certain these two fine young gentleman might know a thing or two about docking.




Now that your weiner has shriveled up and went back inside your body, here's something to get it to turtle head itself back out for some fap-fap-fap action.


Watching the one in white doing the Stanky Leg is like seeing the Beatles for the first time on The Ed Sullivan Show. Simply amazing and tear jerking (with a strong emphasis on jerking).

Melissa Satta's Buttocks Rock My World

Right now there's no chick hotter than Melissa Satta. If you know me, you know I LOVE ass and she is the prime example of a quality ass as well as a piece of ass.


Her ass falls into the "quality" as opposed to the "quantity" category. The quality ass, also known as a bubble butt, is one where the ass cheeks are perfectly round, proportional to a tight, slender body, and there are no dimples in it like she just got up from sitting on a gravel driveway with no pants on. Two examples of quality asses are Keyra Augustina and Jessica Biel.

The "quantity" ass or ghetto booty is pretty much a huge-ass ass on a chick. The quantity ass is disproportionately large, is the focal point of the entire body, and can be seen from the back and the front. These are usually found on black chicks, often on latinas, rarely on white, and never on Asian.

(Moar Melissa Satta pics after the jump)

Can't Stop Watching This Shit

Alcohol and drug abuse sure makes some interesting individuals. He's like the white version of the Tourettes Guy--says the dumbest shit that makes no sense whatsoever, but for some strange reason its entertaining as fuck.

Epic Rap Battle

Jay-Z may be the self proclaimed "Rain man", but this cat Eli (at 2:08) is the real Rain Man if you ask me. It's like watching Bird vs. Magic, Brady vs. Manning, or Ali vs. Frazier. He's got flow so sick chicken soup won't help!


It would be a disgrace to have a conversation about ill rappers without mentioning the infamous 50 Tyson who's "album is coming out in stores..please soon, go get it up".

Can't Wait For Louis CK's New Show!

Louis CK is probably one of the funniest and most underrated comedians of all time. "Lucky Louie" on HBO was cancelled only after 1 season, which was a disappointment to fans who appreciate a sitcom that showed real life situations and real dialog. That's why I'm really happy and glad to see that he was picked up by the FX network give Louis CK a chance with a new show called "Louie". The show will debut on Tuesday June 29th at 11:00 PM on FX.

Today's Random Shiz 6/25/10

Melissa Satta in Italian Maxim makes me type with 1 hand

More of Melissa Satta in Maxim (be sure to have a napkin or tube sock nearby before clicking)

Melissa Satta candid bikini pics

Mary J Blige's ass in a bikini may or may not be harmful to your vision

Wanna give Lady Gaga your disco stick? Now you can! - She loves it when you poke-her face!!!

Porn meets Cirque de Soleil if you're strapped for time (NSFW)

Monster crocodile eats the shit out of a shark (includes pic)


(Moar pics of Melissa Satta after the jump)

Mother of the Year Award Goes To...

Party baby

KEYSTONE HEIGHTS, Fla. - A picture of a Keystone Heights baby appearing to smoke a bong has caught the attention of the Florida Department of Children and Families.

Channel 4 was sent the photo and an image of the picture and comments about it taken from an unidentified Web site. It is not known how widely it was circulated.

The 19-year-old mother talked to Channel 4 via Facebook. She said the pictures were a joke.

Link to news clip

At least this kid is smoking weed and we all know that a kid smoking weed is waaaay safer than a kid smoking 20 cigarettes a day.

You  know what they say, it's all fun and games until you take a picture of your kid holding your bong...