Today's Random Shiz 7/30/10

Larissa Riquelme goes topless, I go blind 2 minutes later

Larisssa Riquelme topless pics here (NSFW & FAP alert!)

Tara Reid panty-less upskirt if you're still living in 1999 (NSFW)

70 billion pixel picture of Budapest is world's largest picture

HUGE gallery of the best turd cutters on the internet (LSFW)

Adriana Lima in a bikini is a good start to an evening of shameful fapping

Christina Milian shows us what The Dream is missing out on

Who is Katie Cleary? With a bikini body like that, who gives a fuck!

Snooki in a 1-piece bikini brings sex crime rate down to zero (only look if you no longer have the will to live)

Ridiculously hot amateur GF doing dirty things on video is good for prostate maintenance (NSFW & FAP alert!)

Dey Rapin' E'rybody Out Herre

Who died and made Antoine Dodson police commissioner? This dude comes in a close second to the Alabama leprechaun guy in terms of assclown-ness on a TV news report.

Here's the original news story:

Random Video of the Day 7/26/10

This is a little late for Father's Day, but worth a laugh or two before you realize that you're stuck with banging one woman for the rest of your life.

Basil Marceaux for Governor of Tennessee

Holy fuck, I think Mumbles Menino has finally found himself a suitable contender in a fight for the title of "Worst Public Speaker Ever!!!"


Seriously, how can a candidate to be a governor of a state get so nervous where he refers to himself as "Basil Marceaux.com"? I mean, in order to get to that stage in your political career, you would've had to have spoken to at least 3-4 people in a public setting before, right? Nope, not this guy. He just steamrolls over whatever the fuck he meant to get across to the general public and makes a complete asshole of himself on TV.

Today's Random Shiz 7/22/10

Kelly Brook in Maxim

The rest of that faptastic gallery here

Kelly Brook bikini pics to get the pre-game started

Jennifer Aniston's upskirt delays my thirsty Thursday celebration for about 90 seconds

Now that Selena Gomez is 18, you no longer have feel bad about fapping to the Disney channel (100 pics of sweetness)

The Situtation in a vintage family photo provides a quick laugh before it goes down and by 'it' I mean savagely beating your meat like it owes you money

20 Hilarious names prove that parents do have a sense of humor

Ever wondered what happened to that cute kid from Jerry Maguire?

Hot amateur BJ takes it straight to the bank, spank bank that is (NSFW & fap alert)

Random Video of the Day 7/22/10

Holy instant regret Batman!


Booker T knew instantly as the 'a' in nigga came out of his mouth that he was in some deep shit. Aside from the fact that Hulk Hogan is white, nobody calls the Hulk a nigga. Not Booker T, not no one!

Pregnant Chick Gets A Knuckle Sandwich

There's just too much going on in this video to try to put words to, but one thing's for sure, a pregnant chick gets served a knuckle sandwich courtesy of an angry pimp in a Burger King parking lot while a bunch of onlookers watch. I'm sure glad I don't live in the ghetto anymore.

Random Vid of the Day 7/21/10

The best 12 seconds of video since the last time I made a sex tape...

Bro-stitution, A Disturbing New Trend

This documentary takes a closer look at the seedy world of brostitution and brostitutes. This film digs deeper than any other film has when it comes to this secret world of bro-on-bro non-sexual love for profit.

I may or may not be guilty of soliciting a prostitute or 47, but I'm proud to say that Lord Fapenstein III has never solicited a bro to make fart jokes, share near-shit-my-pants stories, or talk about girls' bewbs with. That's right, I'm so not a bro that I refer to myself in the third person, blow me bro.

Larissa Riquelme May or May Not Be Nude

The World Cup may be over, but Larissa Riquelme's restraining order against me is still in full effect much like the sick rod I have from looking at these pictures.

Nudes after the jump (NSFW)

(Disclaimer: Have paper towel, tube sock, or baseball glove ready)

Bobby Brackins - 143

Am I really old where this shit has come full circle and we're using fucking pagers again? I'm aware of the LOL's, LMFAO's, and FML's, but haven't heard of anyone using fucking numbers to represent something that actual letters being texted from one cell phone to another can't do.


Unless there's a reverse hot tub time machine somewhere in that mansion someone should tell these cunts its not 1996 and no one uses "143" to tell someone you love them? Tupac's songs are more relevant these these 2 assholes.

Today's Random Shiz 7/19/10

Katy Perry in a bikini makes me type left handed

The rest of Katy Perry's delicious pics here - MAMA!

Paris Hilton's whore tits exposed while sunbathing (NSFW)

Remember Josh Hartnett? See his gf's peanut nipple in a bikini nip slip here (NSFW)

Two 18 year olds get fed the tube steak during a casting call gives me carpal tunnel syndrome (NSFW & FAP Alert!)

The non-bigfoot Kardashians in bikinis - let the pre-gaming begin! (Preview below)

Borat's Guide To Country Music

Forgot how funny Borat was on the Ali G Show. This is some classic shit!

Jewel Goes Undercover At Karaoke Bar

Cool video from the Funny or Die folks of Jewel going undercover as a regular shmuck and singing at a karaoke bar.

PS. I would've banged Karen even with that giant schnoz of hers.

What's Better Than A Rainbow?

Double rainbow motherfuckerz!!!



Seriously, what kind of drugs is this guy on cuz I want some and I want some now!

Ke$ha Has Been A Naughty Girl

Apparently, some dude named "DJ Stolen" raw dogged Ke$ha at some point in time and posted a vid cap of the belly pancakes that he made on her. Judging by the pic, it happened before she became famous because she looks nothing like she does in the pic above or in any music videos. In fact, she looks alot like the hooker that fucked Steve Buscemi in the movie "Fargo".


Uncensored money shot pic after the jump. (LSFW)


PS. In case you missed this, here are some up-short pics.

"The little guy, he was funny lookin'"

Country Hip Hop

Yeah, you read that right. This is an instructional video on how to incorporate hip hop moves with country dancing. I've done some embarrassing shit in my life, but this is on a whole new level. I would rather disseminate pictures of me blowing dudes than allow the general public to see me dancing in this fucking video.


On the subject of embarrassing dance moves, check out these bums in San Francisco taking part in some sort of weird bum street dancing party.

Today's Random Shiz 7/7/10

Larissa Racquelme makes me feel tight in the pants

Click here if you want to see Larissa Racquelme's nip slip (NSFW and awesome alert!)

Nicole Sherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls in a bikini gets the juices flowing

Anna Faris naked on the set of some movie (NSFW)

Early Lexi Belle makes for a tired wrist (NSFW & FAP alert!)

Huge gallery of drunk passed out chicks or as I call them, ready to fuck

Giant spider crab molting reminds me why I will never go into the ocean

UPDATE to the Smoking 2 Year Old

Watch CBS News Videos Online


So this 2 year old fat shit, Ardi Rizal, is back in the news again for having the worst fucking parents. I thought third world countries were poor and shit, where do they get the money to fatten this kid up on top on supporting his 2 pack a habit?


I can already see this kid's future...riding the Fung Wah bus to Foxwoods casino, chain smoking Winstons, sipping on complimentary orange juice, and sleeping on benches in between 24 hour gambling sessions. You've got a great life ahead of ya kid!

Self Lacing Sneakers--The Future is Finally Here!!!

Why wait until 2015?

Inspired by 'Back to The Future II', this project is less 'Practical' than 'Proof of Concept', but hopefully it'll tide you over until Nike comes out with something more polished.

This was also the first time I worked with an Arduino microcontroller, and I wanted to get some experience with the little guy.

Operation is quite simple- step into the shoe and a force sensor reads the pressure of your foot and activates two servo motors, which apply tension to the laces, tightening the shoe. A touch switch reverses the servos.

Due to budget constraints, I only modified one shoe. Where did I put that darn sports almanac?!

The future arrives early for us thanks to nerds who sacrifice their sex lives for those of us who enjoy having cool shit, including, but not limited to self-lacing Nikes. Michael J. Fox would really appreciate a pair of these right about now...




BTTF II